Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
