Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I smell like Dick and happiness
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
