That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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