I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
