Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
