I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Randomize
