just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
