I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
