No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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