We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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