I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
