Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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