Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
