I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
