you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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