Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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