Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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