You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we're chasing vodka with high fives
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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