if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
