It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
