It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
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that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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