Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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