is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My vagina is officially offended.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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