Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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