The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
