I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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