It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
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