A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize