I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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