it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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