And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
