hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.