i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.