It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
handjob tips. give me some.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
