Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
