I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
