If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize