whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
