So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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