The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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