I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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