Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
