Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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