Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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