Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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