Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
