i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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