I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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