Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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