I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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