I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
