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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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• (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (206): View more from Washington

  That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

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• (626): View more from California

  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.

  (713): View more from Texas

  You always say the most romantic things

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in

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