Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.

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  (414): You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door. http://tfl.nu/h0ao
  Replies (20) Good night (5200) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  (314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc
  Replies (27) Good night (954) Bad night (4141)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (739) Bad night (4265)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year

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  (716): kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year http://tfl.nu/qbpm
  Replies (20) Good night (5207) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

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  (410): There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional http://tfl.nu/r1v2
  Replies (11) Good night (4581) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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  (704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox
  Replies (4) Good night (2024) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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  (715): I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME? http://tfl.nu/q3mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2121) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

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  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1149) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1415) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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  (360): Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two? http://tfl.nu/t4gj
  Replies (5) Good night (457) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.

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  (630): no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man. http://tfl.nu/w6gc
  Replies (9) Good night (441) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.

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  (425): I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh. http://tfl.nu/ednt
  Replies (5) Good night (359) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Your word choices worry me.

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  (520): Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants? (614): Your word choices worry me. http://tfl.nu/ader
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"

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  (719): What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family" http://tfl.nu/mzlk
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.

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  (704): I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave. http://tfl.nu/v72z
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (181)

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