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• (207): View more from Maine

  We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

  Fav 24 4630 1678

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (718): View more from New York

  I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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• (626): View more from California

  yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...

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