Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

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  (206): Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend. http://tfl.nu/38e6
  Replies (2) Good night (2230) Bad night (736)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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  (517): I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice" http://tfl.nu/f86r
  Replies (39) Good night (1091) Bad night (6345)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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  (703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2 http://tfl.nu/k675
  Replies (47) Good night (4204) Bad night (9610)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1421) Bad night (4519)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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  (303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e
  Replies (4) Good night (2565) Bad night (648)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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  (914): Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way. http://tfl.nu/0tc3
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (750)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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  (417): So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye? http://tfl.nu/90tu
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (451)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".

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  (317): You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!". http://tfl.nu/c85b
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (457)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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  (425): I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win http://tfl.nu/52ex
  Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (329)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower

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  (610): If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower http://tfl.nu/d9ft
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (348)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling

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  (607): The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling http://tfl.nu/cdto
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (335)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.

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  (513): I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried. http://tfl.nu/cu65
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (140)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo

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  (713): 2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo http://tfl.nu/sacy
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (154)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im part way to drunk.

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  (360): Im part way to drunk. http://tfl.nu/o5bw
  Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (153)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.

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  (630): Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me. http://tfl.nu/xyws
  Replies (0) Good night (170) Bad night (225)

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