Texts From Last Night

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  (956): View more from Texas

  I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

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  (956): I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward http://tfl.nu/ltxx
  Replies (187) Good night (5488) Bad night (1319)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.

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  (715): He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat. http://tfl.nu/ain9
  Replies (88) Good night (924) Bad night (13341)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (32809) Bad night (1850)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
  Replies (18) Good night (3300) Bad night (4608)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7795) Bad night (1014)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

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  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1527) Bad night (2416)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I demand visitation hours with the duck.

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  (602): I demand visitation hours with the duck. http://tfl.nu/cyd2
  Replies (10) Good night (4289) Bad night (1009)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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  (519): I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex http://tfl.nu/b3wh
  Replies (15) Good night (1122) Bad night (2394)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

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  (603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2
  Replies (3) Good night (2747) Bad night (605)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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  (248): I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home. http://tfl.nu/2kup
  Replies (1) Good night (1423) Bad night (470)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"

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  (614): Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10" http://tfl.nu/nudo
  Replies (6) Good night (1240) Bad night (627)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.

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  (507): Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale. http://tfl.nu/i85n
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (353)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PS my house is a mess.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  pps I have a rash on my face.

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  (403): PS my house is a mess. (403): pps I have a rash on my face. http://tfl.nu/t8vc
  Replies (3) Good night (278) Bad night (750)
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  (310): View more from California

  I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now

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  (310): I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now http://tfl.nu/7a45
  Replies (6) Good night (647) Bad night (476)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?

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  (508): We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to? http://tfl.nu/ka6a
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (406)

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