Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
