Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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