They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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