Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize