I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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