Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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