I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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