Got a toothbrush?
I want to have your abortion
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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