I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
