you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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