idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
