You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's always time for handjobs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
