Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
