I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
