i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
