i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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