she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
