he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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